Doctorin’ The Tardis

Doctorin' The Tardis Front Sleeve

Probably the most nauseating record in the world, Doctorin’ The Tardis saw The Timelords climb to #1 in 1988. Built around the “Doctor Who” theme, Sweet’s “Blockbuster!” and Gary Glitter’s “Rock And Roll”.

A 12″ of alternate versions – some of them featuring Gary Glitter himself – was released three weeks later.

The record’s chart success later inspired Cauty and Drummond to release their tongue-in-check step-by-step guide The Manual.

Promotion & Advertising

Most of the promotion for Doctorin’ The Tardis was built around the Timelords’ front “man” Ford Timelord. Interviews with the iconic cop car appeared in various music magazines like Smash Hits and Record Mirror.

People who buy it will have a sense of humour and there are lot of those people about. Fortunately!Ford Timelord, Smash Hits, Jun 1988

Promo whitelabels where sent out by Appearing, including a handwritten note by Scott Piering claiming the song was meant to “touch the nerves that respond to Dr. Who, Gary Glitter, The Sweet, and of course sing-along- football chants.”

Landscape adverts also appeared various magazines, kicking off the tradition of later KLF/JAMs adverts in a similar format (albeit without their signature typeface yet).

Advert for "Doctorin' The Tardis" by The Timelords, featuring an image of Ford Timelord and release information: "KLF 003 available on 7 & 12 KLF 003T via The Cartel"
Advert for The Timelords’ “Doctorin’ The Tardis” (Unknown, 1988)


The JAMMS attempt at The Novelty Hit. The notion of Handsome Bill grinning between Joyce Sims and Kylie Minogue in chartland is enough to make me forgive the agony this record brings to my life as I type.

Tracks & Formats

KLF 003

7″ Single / 23 May 1988
A Doctorin’ The Tardis (Radio) 3:37
B Doctorin’ The Tardis (Minimal) 4:28

KLF 003P

10″ Picture Disc Single / 23 May 1988
A Doctorin’ The Tardis (Radio) 3:37
B Doctorin’ The Tardis (Minimal) 4:28

A couple of uncut versions exist, making them highly sought-after collectors items.

KLF 003T

12″ Single / 23 May 1988
A Doctorin’ The Tardis (Club Mix) 8:15
B1 Doctorin’ The Tardis (Radio) 3:37
B2 Doctorin’ The Tardis (Minimal) 4:28

KLF 003R

12″ Single / 13 Jun 1988
A1 Gary In The Tardis (Radio) 3:21
A2 Gary In The Tardis (Minimal) 4:08
B Gary Joins The JAMs 6:12

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